“They say: sufferings are misfortunes,” said Pierre. ‘But if at once this minute, I was asked, would I remain what I was before I was taken prisoner, or go through it all again, I should say, for God’s sake let me rather be a prisoner and eat horseflesh again. We imagine that as soon as we are torn out of our habitual path all is over, but it is only the beginning of something new and good. As long as there is life, there is happiness. There is a great deal, a great deal before us.”
― Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace
My blog is my happy place – I normally try very hard to keep real life out of my flowery musings. Last night, however, as I watched the emotionally exhausting ending to the excellent BBC War & Peace series, I listened to Count Pierre Bezukhov say the words above as he reflected on his time as a prisoner of war before the tragic events of war led him to happiness through marriage to Natasha Rostova. As I pondered on those words I was moved to reconsider what I would be posting today.
Yesterday was a very difficult day – I would go so far as to say my floral stuffing was knocked out of me as news broke of an armed robbery in our local area. I was concerned in a general way as I heard the first story – shocked to my core as more details emerged and I realised that the victim, who was shot in the leg and suffered ‘life changing injuries’ is a friend. I am still in shock – this is England where gun crime is almost unheard of. How could a man be shot in his own home – not even in London where perhaps gun crime is on the increase, but in the Essex countryside?
Pierre’s word of hope made me question whether things will always work out for the best? How will that family move forward from this terrible event? The house where this happened is a realisation of a dream for them – they have cherished it and poured money into making sure that after a long history it will survive on into the future. This is a home where two young girls have enjoyed idyllic summers, old dogs have rested in the shade, rescued battery chickens have found a new life in the sun and planting plans have been formed over cups of coffee. It is a home that has seen parties and dinners and family gatherings – a place of joy and comfort.
So how will this family move forwards now – how, I ask myself, can your children be happy in a home that has been so violated that their father now lies in hospital with an injury that may alter the future for them all? Can the dream of home, which is so bound in safety and security, ever exist for them again in a building that meant so much, but has directly resulted in this destruction of a life as they knew it.
To make matters worse the press have now picked up on the story and are turning this family’s tragedy into an opportunity to pry into and make public their private life. How can it be right to print the details of someone’s identity, place of business and occupation when the gunman who injured him is still at large. In fact when is it ever right to make public the private life of a victim of crime – is it not bad enough to have suffered such injury without having the world poring over your family life.
I can only hope that Leo Tolstoy is right and that the tearing apart of this family’s life is the beginning of something new and good – although at the moment I struggle to see how that will emerge from the current wreckage.
I hope that my vase today – spring flowers emerging from the winter cloak that lays over the garden, will be seen as a message of hope for the future.
As ever I am linking up with Cathy from Rambling In The Garden to join in with her challenge to find something from the garden to put in a vase in the house every week of the year – thank you Cathy for all the time you put into keeping this lovely meme going.
I will be back on Friday with my second post on Growing Sweet Peas (read Part 1 here). For Part 2 I have a very exciting Giveaway to announce – Agriframes are offering some of the lovely jute netting (UK readers only) that I am always urging you to use, so make sure you pop back on Friday to have a chance of winning.
I look forward to seeing you all again on Friday and next Monday – when I promise to be back with a much more upbeat vase!!
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I had a little weep at the gorgeous quote from the wonderful Pierre and then felt shocked to the core reading about your dreadful local event. I am so sorry and yes you should take comfort in those lovely flowers and the simple pleasure to be had from gardening.
A heartfelt post. Beautiful photos. Sending loving thoughts to your friends. The press seem to have no scruples, I never buy newspapers for that very reason, I do not want to support such a ghastly industry.
True friendship can help people through the toughest of times and it sounds as if there may be many true friends in your community to take things forward in love and positivity.
I am so sorry to hear about the shooting there. I often wonder too how things will work out for the best when these tragedies happen. Your vase is a wonderful cheer as the seasons change.
I am so sorry for your friend and his family having gone through such a terrible ordeal. I hope that there will be healing with the family, and that the criminal is caught. Your arrangement goes so well with what you have written. Absolutely beautiful.
Your vase has a very special poignancy today – thank you for sharing it and your thoughts with us, Julie. I was similarly disturbed 12 months ago by the news that my hairdresser had been murdered, rocking the lives of many. For your friend, the whole family, their home and everything they have worked towards has been violated – hard enough to cope with without the press digging deep. I agree with Pierre and Tolstoy in that events may mean we have to take a completely different path from the one we expected, but it can still be in us to be happy despite this. We have the choice to make a life in which we can be happy or to live in the past with regrets and sadness. There will be a period of huge emotional upheaval and fear to come but with love and friendship and support I trust your friends will pull through and carry on.
Oh Julie, what a truly awful event and it really hits home as they are friends. I have to say, that here in the U.S. in addition to the rampant gun violence we also have this invasion of privacy. The press are insatiable; anything to sell the story is the word of the day.
On the other hand, your arrangement is lovely and perfect for our gray, still wintry weather. Take care of yourself, my friend.
Julie, thank you for your thought provoking post.
I obviously wish the very best for your friend and his family, but I also hope your shocking story will prompt us to take a moment to appreciate all that we have. It certainly did me.
I’m sorry to hear of the assault on your friend, Julie. I hope that he and his family pull through the experience with no further trauma. Incidents this this are all too common in the US, where the gun culture holds the population firmly in its clutches but I too would like to believe that other areas of the world have managed to avoid that kind of violence.
So sorry to hear about this. You can imagine how we feel in the US, those of us who feel a desperate need for sane gun control laws. The state of affairs here is unbelievable.
Thank you for sharing, this is beautifully written. As usual, the photos are stunning.
I had just begun watching War and Peace on iPlayer when your email arrived; it is hard to understand the damage that can be done to a family and community by the violent actions of an unknown person suddenly appearing in our lives; my thoughts are with your friends and I’m sure they will be grateful for the true friendship that comes through so clearly in what you wrote. Beautiful flowers bring some cheer.
Julie thank you for being brave enough to write this most difficult and disturbing post. You are right when you say that this lovely family’s life will be changed forever and, like your other readers, my thoughts and prayers will be with them and all of you in the neighbourhood. One thing is abundantly clear though, that they have the love and support of both a friend and neighbour like you and that you are all so much more than the sum of this one awful act and that, Julie, raises you all above this pointless violence and will allow you to revel once more in the joy and happiness you have spent years building together.
A really touching and thoughtful contribution….this is not fiction…lives have been affected. I really hope that the Police can follow this through and the weapons found before anything like this can happen again. Now is the healing time…and with friends and neighbours, family and love I wish you and your neighbours peace.